How to deal with the agony of unrequited love
This article is about the agony of unrequited love or one sided love. Let me first define the term unrequited love. If you love someone or have feelings for someone then you expect the other person to give you something in return. In unrequited love, you don’t get anything in return of your feelings and emotions. So what can be done about it?
Why are we inclined to seek love?
The truth is we don’t have any inclination towards love or money. CONFUSED? Let me explain why. We all have a natural inclination towards pleasure or joy. If you want to understand human behavior then there is no need to read thick books I can explain it in just one sentence. Every human is either trying to gain pleasure or avoid pain. Period.
You can see people around you doing hundreds of things but basically, all they are doing is trying to gain pleasure or avoid pain.
You may think you want love or money but all you are striving is to avoid suffering and increase joy or fun.
If you are old enough and have a very rich life experience then you might know by experience that nothing can satisfy a human being. Say if 100 people are respecting someone then they want 1000 people to respect them. If they earn a million dollars then they strive for 100 million. This is an endless cycle. Is there any end to it? You must find it. If you really want to find the end then I have an advice for you. Don’t be in a hurry to jump to a conclusion.
Look back at your life. At some point in your life, you might want to achieve or get something. Once you got that you took it for granted after some time and started striving to achieve something else.
There is nothing good or bad about it. Every human wants to become or experience something more. If that something happens then he/she wants something more.
Doesn’t matter who you are, if you shall stop growing in your life then you will suffer immensely. Pain is inevitable in this case. So the only way to deal with the agony of unrequited love is to understand that you are not suffering because you won’t own a person. You are suffering because you are refraining yourself from growing.
We have two choices
In my article why relationships are important to human beings, I said that if a person is smart then he/she can use anything for their growth. Every life situation especially the difficult or rocky ones offer us two choices. We can either become wounded or wise.
Love and relationships are a part of life. You must understand there are other parts or aspects of life namely career, finance, family, recreation etc. you must give some time to yourself. To ensure peace and well-being of yourself and people around you, it is very important that there is a balance among all the aspects of life.
What is love all about? A few days ago I met Sunil bhaiya (someone who is an elder brother like or elder brother is called bhaiya in India). He used to live in my house on rent. I met him and told about my site. I told him that my site LuvLeela.com is about real love. I explained to him what is a real love. I said love is when you are willing to give and do everything for a person without asking anything in return. When you see a person that you love growing or doing well in life then you feel good. Love is when you are willing to die for someone’s well-being and happiness.
Immediately bhaiya replied like the way I love my daughter. I said yes the way you love your daughter is real love. You must love everyone like this only if you want to claim that you love them.
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