What does it mean to have a toxic relationship?


What does it mean to have a toxic relationship? It means you are drinking a poison which is killing you slowly. But you must know that your relationship is not giving you poison. You are creating poison from it and drinking it daily.


In my article about attachment disorders, I have said that a lot of people think that their problems are holding them but this is not true. The truth is they are holding their problems. You can leave something which you are holding but the only thing which stops a person from dropping something is an attachment. People love their problems so much that they can’t live without it. You might think this is hilarious but this is how a lot of people are.


My grandmother




There was a time in my life when I used to think I know a lot. But now I know the reality. The reality is I do not know anything. Now you might be thinking how I can write articles and tell you something. Well, this is called talent. The truth is it is not a talent. It is the grace of God. So let me tell you something about my grandmother.


My grandmother was married when she was 16 years of age. Your eyesight is not deceiving you. She was 16 when she got married. How? It is true that child marriage is illegal in India but you can do all the illegal things here. Don’t get excited now things are changing as the government is becoming strict.


She has seen a lot of hardship in her life as she was a working woman. She was a teacher in government school. The school in which she used to teach what was 15 km away from our house. This is not the end of her struggle.


In addition to that, she has to cook food for 15 people as our relative’s children were also staying in our house. She was the mother of three children including my father. She did all this for more than 30 years.


Do you still think your life is hard? After reading the following story you may get a glimpse of what does it mean to have a toxic relationship.


Unmatchable insights and wisdom


One day I was crying because of something.  My grandmother looked at me and asked what happened? I told her my problem.


She gave me a very precise and effective solution. I was just blown away by her reply because it was just on the mark. It is a fortune to have a grandmother like her. The Wisdom she has is not bookish rather it comes from her life’s experience.


Are you smart?


For a smart person, there is no stopping. Everything that is thrown at us can be used as a stepping stone. Let us suppose you are driving and suddenly you see that the road is blocked because of some maintenance work. Now, what you will do? The answer is simple you will change your way.


There are a lot of people who don’t know how to change their way. The adjustment doesn’t mean compromise. It means you’re smart enough to change your way. You are not changing your destination. The ability to change your way is called flexibility.


A lot of people complained that my spouse, partner or relatives are very selfish and mean. If you have too much problem then you can leave them and stay alone. Will you be happy after that? A lot of people who complain about others will suffer immensely when they will become alone. This is a fact.


There is nothing constant in this world excluding constant change. A lot of people cry when their plan ‘A’ fails because they do not know how to change their approach. Anything unexpected can happen in our life. We can either cry or learn to change our approach. No one is telling you to change your destination.


Staying in a family teaches us how to become flexible. You can learn a lot from your relationships. This flexibility or wisdom will help you succeed in your life.


So what does it mean to have a toxic relationship? The answer is there is no such thing, for a smart person. A person who knows how to adjust without compromising is a wise person indeed. This person is indomitable. There is no doubt about that.


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